LA Art Documents is proud to present this Short Documentary about Artist and Producer Kristine Schomaker the creator of Perceive Me, a performance project in which 60 Artists were asked to create nude portraits of Kristine. This documentary helps to illuminate the goals and reasoning for the unusual process for challenging beliefs and discovering self-worth.
Along with a published hard and soft cover book, an exhibition featuring all of the artwork opened on Saturday, January 25 at Ronald H Silverman Fine Arts Gallery, Cal State University LA and is on view through February 22.
Ronald H Silverman Fine Arts Gallery, Cal State University LA
5151 State University Drive
Los Angeles CA 90032
Dr. Mika Cho, Director, Fine Arts Gallery
Monday to Friday 12PM – 5PM
Phone: (323) 343-4040 | Email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Artist’s involved: Amanda Mears, Anna Kostanian, Anna Stump, Ashley Bravin, Austin Young, Baha Danesh, Betzi Stein, Bibi Davidson, Bradford J Salamon, Caron G Rand, Carson Grubaugh, Catherine Ruane, Chris Blevins-Morrison, Christina Ramos, Cynda Valle, Daena Title, Daggi Wallace, Dani Dodge, Debbie Korbel, Debby/Larry Kline, Debe Arlook, Diane Cockerill, Donna Bates, Elizabeth Tobias, Ellen Friedlander, Emily Wiseman, Geneva Costa, Holly Boruck, J Michael Walker, Jane Szabo, Janet Milhomme, Jeffrey Sklan, Jesse Standlea, John Waiblinger, Jorin Bossen, K Ryan Henisey, Karen Hochman Brown, Kate Kelton, Kate Savage, Kerri Sabine-Wolf, Kim Kimbro, L Aviva Diamond, Leslie Lanxinger, Mara Zaslove, Marjorie Salvaterra, Martin Cox, Monica Sandoval, Nancy Kay Turner, Nurit Avesar, Phung Huynh, Rakeem Cunningham, Serena Potter, Sheli Silverio, Susan Amorde, Susan T. Kurland, Sydney Walters, Tanya Ragir, Tony Pinto, Vicki Walsh
I hate pictures of myself.
I have always felt fat.
I am not alone.
In my 46 years of life, I have only been asked out on a date a couple times. That equated with my belief that I was unattractive and unworthy. I made an assumption and lived my life from that self-perception, as truth. The concept of Perceive Me originated from these ideas. The premise is that we value ourselves and our self-worth based on how we imagine others perceive us. The action of creating the work is allowing me to challenge these notions and begin the process of self-healing. Perceive Me as a political and social act involves performance, installation, conversation and community organizing.
Perceive Me is a contribution to self-growth. Through it I ask, Who are we in the eyes of other people? Does it matter? Should it matter? Why do we take other people’s opinions of ourselves so seriously? Do we even know what other people perceive when they look at us? Why should we care? Baring my body, I’m forcing people to confront their own biases, prejudices and stereotypes and overcome my own. This project has made me cry and laugh, yell and hide, cringe and boast, and ultimately persist because I have faith in myself, the artists I have worked with and the audience who will look at my work and share the experience.
Engaging the art community to create this installation is a giant step forward in the trajectory of my ongoing personal exploration through performance. 60 artists gave their time and talent to create artworks that reflect their vision of me as I posed for them as a performative action. Not only is the art outstanding but the love they have for me is reflected in the works. Their vision of me heals me on levels beyond the body.
Every photo shoot, every meeting, every performance session, I came away with excitement. I loved being in front of the camera. As I modeled in many different poses, I felt glamorous, classy, beautiful and seen. The poses came naturally, and I was having fun. I soon realized my inner feelings are much different than the physicality of the body. While I still had a hard time correlating the performative aspect of modeling with the image of the fat woman in the artwork, I began a journey of self-acceptance and even appreciation for the woman I am. Over time, the gap became smaller.
The process of working on Perceive Me never had an end goal. It is a part of my creative healing journey. There are days when I feel like I have changed, maybe become a little less self-conscious, a little more considerate of my body and freer in letting go of ideas of how others see me. Working through an eating disorder and challenging the way people think and talk about our bodies will be an ongoing process, so I can’t see Perceive Me ending anytime soon.
Today, I am awake, aware and I have persevered. Today I take these issues and confront, challenge, deconstruct and share them so others will be empowered and inspired. Today I share with you my plus size, curvy, imperfect body as a symbol for the change we need.”